When Exactly: Wednesday Jan. 21 - 9:45 pm
Purchased From: Whole Foods (Manhattan, NY)
Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind.
Eaten How: Unadorned.
More like BraeBURNED! Oh snap. Cough.
On a quick jaunt to Whole Foods I stumbled upon a crate of organic Braeburns adorned with one heck of a write-up. The crate’s descriptive marker was augmented by a rapturous endorsement for this particular batch, promising the best Braeburns the staff had ever sampled. Braeburns have never bowled me over but this seemed worth investigating.
Unfortunately, this apple matched the Braeburns of my past in forgettability. It had a texture that one might call chunky; crunchy but disattached. The flesh fell apart easily while remaining firm; it made me think of monkey bread. It was interesting but not particularly enjoyable.
I don’t believe I’ve had an organic Braeburn before. I’m always happy to reap the nutritional benefits of organic fruit but I usually expect a flavor upgrade as well and there was none here. It was anonymously sweet, tasting of diluted honey and cider.
It’s easy to see why Braeburns are used to sweeten up pies but I see little reason to eat them raw. Perhaps this special crate would have made a terrific pie or applesauce, but that hardly justifies the produce department’s rhapsody. I’ll justify THEIR rhapsody! …Snap.