May 10

Right this way, please.

Summer approacheth.  The apples are going from ho-hum to bad.  There’s not quite enough time in the day to review bushels of bad apples, so Every Apple is gonna do a little hiatus.  Apples will still be eaten, probably every day since I have a problem, but they won’t be analyzed; no one wants a 100-apple streak of C’s.

If you’re seeing this blogaroo for the first time, welcome!  I hope you’ll be back for new apples in the fall.  In the meantime, here are some highlights.  Please to enjoy.

Northern Spy - November 13th

Winesap - January 12th

Granny Smith - December 16th

Gold Rush - November 22nd

Winesap - November 12th

Winter Banana - November 21st

Enterprise - February 2nd

Blushing Golden - November 19th

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March 3
When Exactly: Saturday Feb. 21 - 4 pm Cultivar: Sweet Red Purchased From: Terhune Orchards - Union Square Greenmarket (NY, NY) Size: Medium Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind. Eaten How: Unadorned. Review: The new hotness. I was relieved to see a larger turnout at Union Square this week.  Though Caradonna didn’t quite rake me over the coals, I was hoping to find some real inspiration this week.  Thankfully, my brother guided me to Terhune Orchards.  Oh, Terhune. My brother, a real Union Square veteran, insisted that no other stand could hold a candle to Terhune’s.  Clearly, some others agreed; the crowd was thick around their table.  I cut through the hordes to find a few small crates holding uniformly perfect fruit.  I also found higher prices; most greenmarket purveyors charge about around $1.80/pound and these guys were asking two bucks.  Apparently, these apples were worth the added investment. I selected some familiar varieties (Winesap, Idared) and a couple I didn’t recognize (Mutsu’s Mother, Sweet Red).  Every fruit was firm and unblemished.  Considering how late we are into the winter, this seemed incredible.  Other farms’ output has been suffering regardless of their use of professional cold storage systems, so what were these folks doing differently? I asked the lead representative if they’d figured out some kind of trick.  The fellow from Terhune smiled, tightlipped.  I ratcheted up the longing look in my eyes and he thankfully let the secret fly: those extra twenty cents per pound help pay for a superior storage facility that ups the nitrogen game.  Most farms’ storage units have an 80-20 ratio of nitrogen to oxygen, and Terhune’s system uses almost 100% nitrogen.  In this environment, ethylene production is virtually eliminated and the apples cannnot ripen any further; thus, if the apples picked at peak ripeness, they should taste fresh-picked for months. Indeed, that was the case with this perfectly grown, full-flavored Sweet Red. It was one of the better sweet apples I’ve had, at least in recent memory.  Each crunchy bite gave way to perfect fluffy flesh that pulled away from the core in sorbet-like scoops.  Like an impossibly good Red Delicious, this apple was rich and creamy with a nice bitter, woody skin.  A sweet, bright honeydew flavor stood out, building further on the sorbet sensation.  With its bracing, woody skin and an added hint of banana in the background, this was a delicately nuanced dessert fruit. Dessert may not be my favorite course but this Sweet Red was terrific for what it was.  Though a touch lacking in aroma, this was the most exciting apple I’ve tasted in weeks.  I’m really looking forward to the rest of my Terhune batch.  Heck, I’m looking forward to several more Terhune batches if they can keep up like this. Grade: A-

When Exactly: Saturday Feb. 21 - 4 pm

Cultivar: Sweet Red

Purchased From: Terhune Orchards - Union Square Greenmarket (NY, NY)

Size: Medium

Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind.

Eaten How: Unadorned.

Review:

The new hotness.

I was relieved to see a larger turnout at Union Square this week.  Though Caradonna didn’t quite rake me over the coals, I was hoping to find some real inspiration this week.  Thankfully, my brother guided me to Terhune Orchards.  Oh, Terhune.

My brother, a real Union Square veteran, insisted that no other stand could hold a candle to Terhune’s.  Clearly, some others agreed; the crowd was thick around their table.  I cut through the hordes to find a few small crates holding uniformly perfect fruit.  I also found higher prices; most greenmarket purveyors charge about around $1.80/pound and these guys were asking two bucks.  Apparently, these apples were worth the added investment.

I selected some familiar varieties (Winesap, Idared) and a couple I didn’t recognize (Mutsu’s Mother, Sweet Red).  Every fruit was firm and unblemished.  Considering how late we are into the winter, this seemed incredible.  Other farms’ output has been suffering regardless of their use of professional cold storage systems, so what were these folks doing differently?

I asked the lead representative if they’d figured out some kind of trick.  The fellow from Terhune smiled, tightlipped.  I ratcheted up the longing look in my eyes and he thankfully let the secret fly: those extra twenty cents per pound help pay for a superior storage facility that ups the nitrogen game.  Most farms’ storage units have an 80-20 ratio of nitrogen to oxygen, and Terhune’s system uses almost 100% nitrogen.  In this environment, ethylene production is virtually eliminated and the apples cannnot ripen any further; thus, if the apples picked at peak ripeness, they should taste fresh-picked for months.

Indeed, that was the case with this perfectly grown, full-flavored Sweet Red. It was one of the better sweet apples I’ve had, at least in recent memory.  Each crunchy bite gave way to perfect fluffy flesh that pulled away from the core in sorbet-like scoops.  Like an impossibly good Red Delicious, this apple was rich and creamy with a nice bitter, woody skin.  A sweet, bright honeydew flavor stood out, building further on the sorbet sensation.  With its bracing, woody skin and an added hint of banana in the background, this was a delicately nuanced dessert fruit.

Dessert may not be my favorite course but this Sweet Red was terrific for what it was.  Though a touch lacking in aroma, this was the most exciting apple I’ve tasted in weeks.  I’m really looking forward to the rest of my Terhune batch.  Heck, I’m looking forward to several more Terhune batches if they can keep up like this.

Grade: A-

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February 27
When Exactly: Friday Feb. 13 - 8 pm Cultivar: Granny Smith Purchased From: Caradonna Farms - Union Square Greenmarket (NY, NY) Size: Medium Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind. Eaten How: Unadorned. Review: The notorious comparison finally applies. This is shaping up to be a week of totally okay Caradonna fruits.  Yay.  I know, I know, could be worse. Though this Granny had snowy-looking flesh, it had a decent crunch that even sported a little airy crisp.  Too bad there was only one flavor/aroma going on here.  Cutting into the fruit released a strong navel orange scent.  It was followed by light orange flavor that brought in some acidity and sugar, but I wanted more of both.  The brighter, redder section of the apple contained a tad more sugar, but this added sweetness brought the citrus flavor into a trebly, mandarin-like realm that wasn’t to my liking.  Mandarins should keep to themselves. It was interesting to eat an orange in apple form; it just wasn’t the greatest orange ever.  This apple totally raised my eyebrow slightly!  Yay? Grade: B-

When Exactly: Friday Feb. 13 - 8 pm

Cultivar: Granny Smith

Purchased From: Caradonna Farms - Union Square Greenmarket (NY, NY)

Size: Medium

Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind.

Eaten How: Unadorned.

Review:

The notorious comparison finally applies.

This is shaping up to be a week of totally okay Caradonna fruits.  Yay.  I know, I know, could be worse.

Though this Granny had snowy-looking flesh, it had a decent crunch that even sported a little airy crisp.  Too bad there was only one flavor/aroma going on here.  Cutting into the fruit released a strong navel orange scent.  It was followed by light orange flavor that brought in some acidity and sugar, but I wanted more of both.  The brighter, redder section of the apple contained a tad more sugar, but this added sweetness brought the citrus flavor into a trebly, mandarin-like realm that wasn’t to my liking.  Mandarins should keep to themselves.

It was interesting to eat an orange in apple form; it just wasn’t the greatest orange ever.  This apple totally raised my eyebrow slightly!  Yay?

Grade: B-

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When Exactly: Thursday Feb. 12 - 5 pm Cultivar: Fuji Purchased From: Caradonna Farms - Union Square Greenmarket (NY, NY) Size: Medium Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind. Eaten How: Unadorned. Review: I ate Pooh’s apple. Out of Caradonna’s Saturday offerings, the Fujis and Grannies definitely looked the most promising.  (Actually, the Empires didn’t look half bad save for the unfortunate fact that they were Empires.)  But alas, this Fuji echoed today’s Caradonna Granny, touching upon the hallmarks of its cultivar while providing no major revelations. The texture on this fella was fine, though a bit looser than the usual crunch I expect from a Fuji.  A few snowy bits put me on the defensive but there was no full dip into soft territory.  Alas, any thoughts of texture vanished rapidly once the honey arrived.  (Don’t worry, that’s the “alas” in this entry.  Promise.) This apple was positively bursting with golden honey flavor.  Unfortunately, a little honey goes a long way and this apple knew no restraint.  An abundance of bright, thin juices momentarily fought off the honey from becoming sickly sweet, but they were sucked under the current about halfway through the fruit.  There was just too much of the sweet stuff.  It was nice for a while but by the last few bites, I needed this apple to be over. With its one-note flavor profile and slightly sub-par texture, this Fuji might as well have been storebought.  However, it was fresh and flavorful even if it could only communicate one (very) big flavor.  Perhaps I’ve been swooning over that Ochs Orchard PB too much, but I couldn’t help wondering if some PB would have helped this apple go down a bit easier.  Sure, fat cuts acidity, not sweetness, but a little salt and bitterness would have provided some much-needed counterpoint.  Alas, I think one PB combo a day is probably all I need (HAHA I TRICKED YOU).  I may not crave a honey-flavored Fuji again for a while, but I there’s a limit to which I can really trash a crunchy, sweet apple. Grade: B-

When Exactly: Thursday Feb. 12 - 5 pm

Cultivar: Fuji

Purchased From: Caradonna Farms - Union Square Greenmarket (NY, NY)

Size: Medium

Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind.

Eaten How: Unadorned.

Review:

I ate Pooh’s apple.

Out of Caradonna’s Saturday offerings, the Fujis and Grannies definitely looked the most promising.  (Actually, the Empires didn’t look half bad save for the unfortunate fact that they were Empires.)  But alas, this Fuji echoed today’s Caradonna Granny, touching upon the hallmarks of its cultivar while providing no major revelations.

The texture on this fella was fine, though a bit looser than the usual crunch I expect from a Fuji.  A few snowy bits put me on the defensive but there was no full dip into soft territory.  Alas, any thoughts of texture vanished rapidly once the honey arrived.  (Don’t worry, that’s the “alas” in this entry.  Promise.)

This apple was positively bursting with golden honey flavor.  Unfortunately, a little honey goes a long way and this apple knew no restraint.  An abundance of bright, thin juices momentarily fought off the honey from becoming sickly sweet, but they were sucked under the current about halfway through the fruit.  There was just too much of the sweet stuff.  It was nice for a while but by the last few bites, I needed this apple to be over.

With its one-note flavor profile and slightly sub-par texture, this Fuji might as well have been storebought.  However, it was fresh and flavorful even if it could only communicate one (very) big flavor.  Perhaps I’ve been swooning over that Ochs Orchard PB too much, but I couldn’t help wondering if some PB would have helped this apple go down a bit easier.  Sure, fat cuts acidity, not sweetness, but a little salt and bitterness would have provided some much-needed counterpoint.  Alas, I think one PB combo a day is probably all I need (HAHA I TRICKED YOU).  I may not crave a honey-flavored Fuji again for a while, but I there’s a limit to which I can really trash a crunchy, sweet apple.

Grade: B-

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When Exactly: Thursday Feb. 12 - 12 pm Cultivar: Granny Smith Purchased From: Caradonna Farms - Union Square Greenmarket (NY, NY) Size: Medium Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind. Eaten How: With Ochs Orchards “Olde Style” Peanut Butter (Warwick, NY). Review: The crowdpleaser. Last Saturday was downright frigid, and there was a dishearteningly small number of farmstands left in Union Square by midday.  The only apple purveyor still standing was Caradonna Farms, which always pulls up to the square with an enormous supply.  I must say, though: other than granting me a proper introduction to the Winter Banana, Caradonna’s product has never blown me away.  But greenmarket is always better than not-greenmarket, so a-shopping I went. My last two local Grannies were shockingly poor and this was to be my first Caradonna Granny, so my hopes were not terribly high.  Thus, I was relieved to find a texture that, though a little weak, could be defined as crunchy.  The first bite released a Granny lime aroma that raised my expecations somewhat.  Sure enough, this apple showed up followed through with a decent stab at the classic New York-style Granny lime flavor.  The acidity was not quite high enough to bowl me over, but at least it was there (already a strong improvement over the last offerings from Phillips Farm).  In further defense of this fruit: I like a huge acidic kick in my Grannies, so I might say this was more of a populist apple, giving up the level of sourness that most people probably want (I surveyed nearly everyone on the planet before typing that sentence in order to stake my claim with confidence, sorry if I missed you in my research).  A nice hit of raspberry added a bright, sweet note and a hair more acidity to the proceedings.  It also got me excited for the forthcoming PB combo. As I should have expected, the populist lime did not hold up too well under the PB.  However, the raspberry’s sweetness was brought out further, creating a wholly comforting, childhood-memory-stirring PBJ sensation.  Raspberry was once my preferred jelly choice for PBJs, so this combo really hit home for me. A little more acid would have brought the combo and the apple itself to another level, and there was definitely some room for improvement in texture.  Still, the raspberry turn showed some creativity, and it was nice to see the Granny lime flavor return after the last few disappointing entries.  Not bad, Caradonna. Grade: B

When Exactly: Thursday Feb. 12 - 12 pm

Cultivar: Granny Smith

Purchased From: Caradonna Farms - Union Square Greenmarket (NY, NY)

Size: Medium

Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind.

Eaten How: With Ochs Orchards “Olde Style” Peanut Butter (Warwick, NY).

Review:

The crowdpleaser.

Last Saturday was downright frigid, and there was a dishearteningly small number of farmstands left in Union Square by midday.  The only apple purveyor still standing was Caradonna Farms, which always pulls up to the square with an enormous supply.  I must say, though: other than granting me a proper introduction to the Winter Banana, Caradonna’s product has never blown me away.  But greenmarket is always better than not-greenmarket, so a-shopping I went.

My last two local Grannies were shockingly poor and this was to be my first Caradonna Granny, so my hopes were not terribly high.  Thus, I was relieved to find a texture that, though a little weak, could be defined as crunchy.  The first bite released a Granny lime aroma that raised my expecations somewhat.  Sure enough, this apple showed up followed through with a decent stab at the classic New York-style Granny lime flavor.  The acidity was not quite high enough to bowl me over, but at least it was there (already a strong improvement over the last offerings from Phillips Farm).  In further defense of this fruit: I like a huge acidic kick in my Grannies, so I might say this was more of a populist apple, giving up the level of sourness that most people probably want (I surveyed nearly everyone on the planet before typing that sentence in order to stake my claim with confidence, sorry if I missed you in my research).  A nice hit of raspberry added a bright, sweet note and a hair more acidity to the proceedings.  It also got me excited for the forthcoming PB combo.

As I should have expected, the populist lime did not hold up too well under the PB.  However, the raspberry’s sweetness was brought out further, creating a wholly comforting, childhood-memory-stirring PBJ sensation.  Raspberry was once my preferred jelly choice for PBJs, so this combo really hit home for me.

A little more acid would have brought the combo and the apple itself to another level, and there was definitely some room for improvement in texture.  Still, the raspberry turn showed some creativity, and it was nice to see the Granny lime flavor return after the last few disappointing entries.  Not bad, Caradonna.

Grade: B

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February 25
When Exactly: Tuesday Feb. 10 - 6 pm Cultivar: Honeycrisp Purchased From: Phillips Farm - Grand Army Plaza Greenmarket (Brooklyn, NY) Size: Medium Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind. Eaten How: Unadorned. Review: Dangit dangit dangit. I’ve fallen behind again.  But that doesn’t mean I can’t catch up.  I can and I will.  Here we go!  2 weeks worth of apples!  I’m gonna try and get through ‘em fast. My recent bout with storebought Washington Honeycrisps left me confused.  They weren’t all bad, but they didn’t display the characteristics that I normally associate with this addictive.  They weren’t juicy enough, they weren’t sweet enough, and worst of all, they didn’t have the aerated, crackly crunch that separates these apples from all others.  I was happy to see a few Honeycrisps left at the Phillips farmstand.  I needed a New Yorker. And there it was.  The texture on this apple was classic Honeycrisp: hard, crackly, crispy, perfect.  That familiar feel was a welcome return to form, but this Honeycrisp still offered its own little twist on the usual formula.  Honeycrisps don’t generally have much of a scent, but this fruit was uncommonly aromatic.  This apple also seemed to borrow a darker flavor palette from another cultivar; there may be a Winter Banana running around somewhere without its flavors.  A light pre-bite lemon scent opened up into a punchy red plum aroma laced with orange zest.  Plummy flavors followed the aroma along with a touch of honey, but this fruit was actually undersweetened.  A bit more sugar would doubtlessly have strengthened these interesting flavors.  Unfortunately, there was also no acid for contrast until the last three bites, where a light lemony spike hinted at a flavor combination that could have pushed this fruit into the top tier. I welcomed back the Honeycrisp texture with open arms.  And though they may not be a traditional attribute of the Honeycrisp, I applauded this apple’s left-field flavors.  These are the kinds of apples that have earned the Honeycrisp its fanbase; I’ll have to ship a few out to Washington. Grade: B+

When Exactly: Tuesday Feb. 10 - 6 pm

Cultivar: Honeycrisp

Purchased From: Phillips Farm - Grand Army Plaza Greenmarket (Brooklyn, NY)

Size: Medium

Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind.

Eaten How: Unadorned.

Review:

Dangit dangit dangit.

I’ve fallen behind again.  But that doesn’t mean I can’t catch up.  I can and I will.  Here we go!  2 weeks worth of apples!  I’m gonna try and get through ‘em fast.

My recent bout with storebought Washington Honeycrisps left me confused.  They weren’t all bad, but they didn’t display the characteristics that I normally associate with this addictive.  They weren’t juicy enough, they weren’t sweet enough, and worst of all, they didn’t have the aerated, crackly crunch that separates these apples from all others.  I was happy to see a few Honeycrisps left at the Phillips farmstand.  I needed a New Yorker.

And there it was.  The texture on this apple was classic Honeycrisp: hard, crackly, crispy, perfect.  That familiar feel was a welcome return to form, but this Honeycrisp still offered its own little twist on the usual formula.  Honeycrisps don’t generally have much of a scent, but this fruit was uncommonly aromatic.  This apple also seemed to borrow a darker flavor palette from another cultivar; there may be a Winter Banana running around somewhere without its flavors.  A light pre-bite lemon scent opened up into a punchy red plum aroma laced with orange zest.  Plummy flavors followed the aroma along with a touch of honey, but this fruit was actually undersweetened.  A bit more sugar would doubtlessly have strengthened these interesting flavors.  Unfortunately, there was also no acid for contrast until the last three bites, where a light lemony spike hinted at a flavor combination that could have pushed this fruit into the top tier.

I welcomed back the Honeycrisp texture with open arms.  And though they may not be a traditional attribute of the Honeycrisp, I applauded this apple’s left-field flavors.  These are the kinds of apples that have earned the Honeycrisp its fanbase; I’ll have to ship a few out to Washington.

Grade: B+

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February 18
When Exactly: Monday Feb. 9 - 4 pm Cultivar: Granny Smith Purchased From: Phillips Farms - Grand Army Plaza Greenmarket (Brooklyn, NY) Size: Medium Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind. Eaten How: With Ochs Orchards “Olde Style” Peanut Butter (Warwick, NY). Review: Unfortunately, this isn’t a peanut butter review. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a good Granny Smith.  My return to the Phillips farmstand raised my hopes for Granny glory, leaving my wide open for disappointment.  But there were two apples left in this Phillips bunch, and part of me was still holding on for a hero.  Sigh. Despite firm flesh and a fresh, floral pre-bite aroma, this apple tasted old and feeble.  There was a vibrant post-bite scent of candy cane-y mint, but flavor did not follow aroma.  The strong Granny lime kick I’ve associated with Phillips Grannies was replaced by a cheap key lime substitute and a metallic aftertaste.  As for texture, the fruit had a meek crunch and one seriously rotten spot that I chose to excise. I’d gone a while without a Granny/PB combo and thought this would be a good time to try; sometimes it can really save a sub-par fruit, and I was quite curious to try my new PB from Ochs.  I had mixed results with Ochs’s apples, but boy oh boy, their PB is stellar.  It has a natural sweetness and a deep, roasted flavor that reminds me of my all-time favorite PB cookie.  I’ve been meaning to add a sprinkle of salt to the PB tub in order to up the flavor of both the PB and the apples it touches, but for now, I sprinkled a little salt over the combo and dug in.  Delicious as the PB was, it did nothing to jostle the apple from its stupor.  The lime remained weak and phony, the juices thin and metallic. I’ve got one more Phillips Granny to go and am hoping for a winner, or at least a contender.  I’d hate to think that they’re not keeping well in cold storage and that the season might be over.  Perish the thought. Grade: C+

When Exactly: Monday Feb. 9 - 4 pm

Cultivar: Granny Smith

Purchased From: Phillips Farms - Grand Army Plaza Greenmarket (Brooklyn, NY)

Size: Medium

Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind.

Eaten How: With Ochs Orchards “Olde Style” Peanut Butter (Warwick, NY).

Review:

Unfortunately, this isn’t a peanut butter review.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a good Granny Smith.  My return to the Phillips farmstand raised my hopes for Granny glory, leaving my wide open for disappointment.  But there were two apples left in this Phillips bunch, and part of me was still holding on for a hero.  Sigh.

Despite firm flesh and a fresh, floral pre-bite aroma, this apple tasted old and feeble.  There was a vibrant post-bite scent of candy cane-y mint, but flavor did not follow aroma.  The strong Granny lime kick I’ve associated with Phillips Grannies was replaced by a cheap key lime substitute and a metallic aftertaste.  As for texture, the fruit had a meek crunch and one seriously rotten spot that I chose to excise.

I’d gone a while without a Granny/PB combo and thought this would be a good time to try; sometimes it can really save a sub-par fruit, and I was quite curious to try my new PB from Ochs.  I had mixed results with Ochs’s apples, but boy oh boy, their PB is stellar.  It has a natural sweetness and a deep, roasted flavor that reminds me of my all-time favorite PB cookie.  I’ve been meaning to add a sprinkle of salt to the PB tub in order to up the flavor of both the PB and the apples it touches, but for now, I sprinkled a little salt over the combo and dug in.  Delicious as the PB was, it did nothing to jostle the apple from its stupor.  The lime remained weak and phony, the juices thin and metallic.

I’ve got one more Phillips Granny to go and am hoping for a winner, or at least a contender.  I’d hate to think that they’re not keeping well in cold storage and that the season might be over.  Perish the thought.

Grade: C+

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When Exactly: Friday Feb. 6 - 5:30 pm Cultivar: Enterprise Purchased From: Tree-Licious Orchards - Grand Army Plaza Greenmarket (Brooklyn, NY) Size: Large Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind. Eaten How: Unadorned. Review: The Gran Torino of apples. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but if the (slightly hilarious) trailer provides an accurate summary of the film, this comparison works.  Listening to Clint Eastwood growl at you for two minutes straight and eating this apple were pretty much the same thing. The apple was focused on one thing only: rugged, rugged texture.  This Enterprise graduated from baguette to full-on Portugese roll.  It was damn near jerky-like; I got jaw fatigue from biting through it.  The breadiness was kinda neat with the first Enterprise, but this went way too far.  A few tiny soft spots provided some easier eating, but those spots were also rotten, so not much of a trade-off there. The apple’s bitter skin provided the only real flavor here.  It seemed to make sense with the ridiculously tough flesh  (tough flesh?  bitter skin?  Eastwood?  Yes.).  There were little hints of Red Delicious-like woodiness and scant traces of honey and lemon, but the flavors were all muted until I hit the very center, where a few cidery, juicy bits lay in hiding. So there we are: a super-tough, jaw-clenching fella with a good heart deep down.  Eastwood.  I don’t know if I can say the same for the movie, but as for the apple: good story, but I had to work way too hard through all that toughy-tough to make the reward worthwhile. Grade: C

When Exactly: Friday Feb. 6 - 5:30 pm

Cultivar: Enterprise

Purchased From: Tree-Licious Orchards - Grand Army Plaza Greenmarket (Brooklyn, NY)

Size: Large

Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind.

Eaten How: Unadorned.

Review:

The Gran Torino of apples.

I haven’t seen the movie yet, but if the (slightly hilarious) trailer provides an accurate summary of the film, this comparison works.  Listening to Clint Eastwood growl at you for two minutes straight and eating this apple were pretty much the same thing.

The apple was focused on one thing only: rugged, rugged texture.  This Enterprise graduated from baguette to full-on Portugese roll.  It was damn near jerky-like; I got jaw fatigue from biting through it.  The breadiness was kinda neat with the first Enterprise, but this went way too far.  A few tiny soft spots provided some easier eating, but those spots were also rotten, so not much of a trade-off there.

The apple’s bitter skin provided the only real flavor here.  It seemed to make sense with the ridiculously tough flesh  (tough flesh?  bitter skin?  Eastwood?  Yes.).  There were little hints of Red Delicious-like woodiness and scant traces of honey and lemon, but the flavors were all muted until I hit the very center, where a few cidery, juicy bits lay in hiding.

So there we are: a super-tough, jaw-clenching fella with a good heart deep down.  Eastwood.  I don’t know if I can say the same for the movie, but as for the apple: good story, but I had to work way too hard through all that toughy-tough to make the reward worthwhile.

Grade: C

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February 10
When Exactly: Thursday Feb. 5 - 9:15 pm Cultivar: Granny Smith Purchased From: Phillips Farms - Grand Army Plaza Greenmarket (Brooklyn, NY) Size: Medium Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind. Eaten How: Unadorned. Review: High hopes hurt. My trip back to the greenmarket meant a return to Phillips Farm, home of some of the greatest Grannies in recent memory.  After a slew of sad storebought Grannies, I was really looking forward to a bright, bracing, crunchy specimen.  Damn. This Granny looked just like those other wonderful Phillips fruits, and the first bite gave a crunch that hinted at greatness.  To my dismay, that bite was a fluke; this apple fell short.  Way short. The classic Granny lime flavor was there but the volume was turned downed as low as possible.  It tasted like I was eating a good Granny with a numb tongue.  An excessive lump of white sugar further thwarted the Granny’s attempt at building a formidable acidity.  Aside from the foggy lime, there were no other flavors coming through in this apple to distinguish it from the poor old storeboughts.  As for texture, that opening bite had the only crunch left in this apple.  It was overripened, soft and even chewy in parts. I couldn’t help thinking that, with that hint of limey potential, some PB could have brought more flavors out of this Granny.  Alas, it was not lucky enough to have PB around for support, and hell, a Phillips Granny shouldn’t need help.  PB should only be icing on a Phillips cake.  After all those frustrating McGrannies, this was not what I needed. Grade: C-

When Exactly: Thursday Feb. 5 - 9:15 pm

Cultivar: Granny Smith

Purchased From: Phillips Farms - Grand Army Plaza Greenmarket (Brooklyn, NY)

Size: Medium

Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind.

Eaten How: Unadorned.

Review:

High hopes hurt.

My trip back to the greenmarket meant a return to Phillips Farm, home of some of the greatest Grannies in recent memory.  After a slew of sad storebought Grannies, I was really looking forward to a bright, bracing, crunchy specimen.  Damn.

This Granny looked just like those other wonderful Phillips fruits, and the first bite gave a crunch that hinted at greatness.  To my dismay, that bite was a fluke; this apple fell short.  Way short.

The classic Granny lime flavor was there but the volume was turned downed as low as possible.  It tasted like I was eating a good Granny with a numb tongue.  An excessive lump of white sugar further thwarted the Granny’s attempt at building a formidable acidity.  Aside from the foggy lime, there were no other flavors coming through in this apple to distinguish it from the poor old storeboughts.  As for texture, that opening bite had the only crunch left in this apple.  It was overripened, soft and even chewy in parts.

I couldn’t help thinking that, with that hint of limey potential, some PB could have brought more flavors out of this Granny.  Alas, it was not lucky enough to have PB around for support, and hell, a Phillips Granny shouldn’t need help.  PB should only be icing on a Phillips cake.  After all those frustrating McGrannies, this was not what I needed.

Grade: C-

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February 6
When Exactly: Monday Feb. 2 - 7:30 pm Cultivar: Enterprise Purchased From: Tree-Licious Orchards - Grand Army Plaza Greenmarket (Brooklyn, NY) Size: Medium Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind. Eaten How: Unadorned. Review: Two scary names for one low price. This weekend’s trip to the greenmarket (ah, finally) yielded an interesting discovery: the Enterprise.  This may be the most bombastic apple name yet.  There’s also something Orwellian about it; perhaps, in the not-too-distant future, we will only have Enterprise apples.  And if that’s not creepy enough, these apples were also developed (and are sometimes made available) under the name “Co-op 30.”  WHAT?! Clearly, these two uncommon names indicate a newer breed (sure enough, I learned this apple was developed at Purdue University in the early 90s). Who knows why they would give it such a nightmarish name, but at least it didn’t taste like a nightmare.  In fact, for an apple with a lineage I don’t particularly care for, it was quite good (this happens surprisingly often). As for that lineage- the Enterprise has Romes, Macintoshes and Golden Delciouses in its blood, but its texture bore little resemblance to that of its ancestors, or to any other apple for that matter.  A Spy-like skin gave way to taut, pliant flesh that made me think of a baguette.  Breadiness is generally an awful attribute to find in an apple, but this fruit was not fluffy or mealy.  It had a crackly, resilient bite that, though shocking at first, became a lot of fun to eat. The Tree-Licious farmer mentioned that the Enterprise was bred to be sour, crisp and disease resistant (I liked that last part; this means less spraying is required).  I didn’t experience true crispness, but there was an interesting sour theme here.  A misleading pre-bite aroma of light caramel gave way to a very strong inner aroma of apricot.  I’ve never experienced such a strong apricot aroma from an apple before; the scent was vibrant, acidic and almost spicy.  It was complemented well by a bitter orange flavor with tiny flecks of brown sugar and blueberry.  The overall combination could be likened to a good iced herbal tea. As always, I need to have more than one experience with a new cultivar before even beginning to form an opinion, but this was an auspicious beginning.  Between the baguette and the apricot, this scarily-named fruit showed real ingenuity.  I’ve got one more Enterprise/Co-op 30 in line this week; here’s hoping for an upward trend.  Perhaps, between now and the next one, I’ll find a few more terrifying names for it.  If not, I’ll just make them up. Grade: B

When Exactly: Monday Feb. 2 - 7:30 pm

Cultivar: Enterprise

Purchased From: Tree-Licious Orchards - Grand Army Plaza Greenmarket (Brooklyn, NY)

Size: Medium

Color: I don’t know, I’m colorblind.

Eaten How: Unadorned.

Review:

Two scary names for one low price.

This weekend’s trip to the greenmarket (ah, finally) yielded an interesting discovery: the Enterprise.  This may be the most bombastic apple name yet.  There’s also something Orwellian about it; perhaps, in the not-too-distant future, we will only have Enterprise apples.  And if that’s not creepy enough, these apples were also developed (and are sometimes made available) under the name “Co-op 30.”  WHAT?!

Clearly, these two uncommon names indicate a newer breed (sure enough, I learned this apple was developed at Purdue University in the early 90s). Who knows why they would give it such a nightmarish name, but at least it didn’t taste like a nightmare.  In fact, for an apple with a lineage I don’t particularly care for, it was quite good (this happens surprisingly often).

As for that lineage- the Enterprise has Romes, Macintoshes and Golden Delciouses in its blood, but its texture bore little resemblance to that of its ancestors, or to any other apple for that matter.  A Spy-like skin gave way to taut, pliant flesh that made me think of a baguette.  Breadiness is generally an awful attribute to find in an apple, but this fruit was not fluffy or mealy.  It had a crackly, resilient bite that, though shocking at first, became a lot of fun to eat.

The Tree-Licious farmer mentioned that the Enterprise was bred to be sour, crisp and disease resistant (I liked that last part; this means less spraying is required).  I didn’t experience true crispness, but there was an interesting sour theme here.  A misleading pre-bite aroma of light caramel gave way to a very strong inner aroma of apricot.  I’ve never experienced such a strong apricot aroma from an apple before; the scent was vibrant, acidic and almost spicy.  It was complemented well by a bitter orange flavor with tiny flecks of brown sugar and blueberry.  The overall combination could be likened to a good iced herbal tea.

As always, I need to have more than one experience with a new cultivar before even beginning to form an opinion, but this was an auspicious beginning.  Between the baguette and the apricot, this scarily-named fruit showed real ingenuity.  I’ve got one more Enterprise/Co-op 30 in line this week; here’s hoping for an upward trend.  Perhaps, between now and the next one, I’ll find a few more terrifying names for it.  If not, I’ll just make them up.

Grade: B

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